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Without ovation, this oration remains my favourite creation. As ever, my ennunciation leaves a lot to be desired (Swizz is - I'm no Swiss Miss) but(t) [Oh no - not THAT old chestnut !] the words WORK and gave hope in their scope for ample textual and visual japery. How's that (simply not cricket but(t)) [And AGAIN. Don't.] (/bat) a (Wynken, Blynken 'n') nod to "Jokes and their Relation to the Unconscious" ? Please roll over the text of this post to find [EXTRA EXTERNAL EXPLANATIONS].

The sporting-linkage (it's all balls....and bawling) stems from the music I set the words to (probably) being the theme tune to Sky TV's "Soccer AM". I have not been able to confirm this yet nor find the name of the composer in order to give thanks and credit.

Play the pacey, passing-parsing, programme (High Quality avi-conversion):

Video 1 (Subtitled, Recommended (Best for the deaf or anyone who is not yet deaf & would rather not be rendered so) :

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqpzAOJrLNo]

Video 2 (Without the encroachment of black-bars introduced by subtitle screen shrinkage) :

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfM_kGnIUmU]

MY LYRICS SET TO THE TV THEME TUNE FROM "SOCCER AM"

Fraudulent Freud
Found a HUGE haemorrhoid
Did not have much to say
About the way
That it has been raised
So he phrased
A question
Using auto-suggestion

Seems the ""Torqu ing" Cure"
Won't make walking any less sore,
Sure Hypnosis
In small doses
Can negate neuroses
But(t) thrombosis
From an anal strain'll
Feign no pain

Because a nose that (s) knows
Is a proboscis thats prognoscis
DRIVES its diagnosis
To supporting sporting snorting
And reporting "Pop !"
As an unconscious joke
About the poke of "Coke"
Or maybe "tackling" a crack about "Crack"

Free Association Football
Soccer succours cigar suckers
Ergo the Ego is hid in the Id
Until we "Slip" the skip

--------------------------------------------------

Original Music (probably) an Abandoned Theme from Sky TV's football show "Soccer AM" I haven't been able to verify this or find the composer's name.

--------------------------------------------------

~ BREAKDOWN-PSYCHO'S ANALYSIS ~

pppp

3 Lions, 3 Tenors 3...

"3 Lions, 3 Tenors 3..."

You don't need "The Magic Numbers" to tell you that "Three is a Magic Number" ; I don't know if they would and, besides (and besides B-Sides), I think [FREE] is a rather magic(k)er...1...2...many...You can count on that...or you can count on an <abacus>, although I don't believe <ABBA cuss> a lot but I will swear they're NOT a trio.

Above is a trio.

It is a trio of "3"s.

It is not a "Trio".

[THIS] is a "Trio" (in a classic Bob Godfrey-animated, Derek Griffiths & John Peel-narrated advert' from the mid 1980s) :

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-V-KCY7SMU]

It is not a trio of "Trios" and the "3 Lions" are NOT 3 "Lion Bars".

[THIS] is a "Lion Bar" - Notice how the <"mane" "man"'s mandibles> and the confectionary's caramelised content are ali(o)gned - at 0:23 in a <deserving/dis-serving dissolving>, baring the [BITE] of the biter and the bitten ; if not the bittern.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbkWcTX0f5U]

Just as fishy as the <[BITE] of a bittern> is HOW this chocolate could stonewall sizzling in the searing, scorching, Serengeti sunlight singeing and tinging the tail of this ad' (and its advocate) when its only protection is a <wrapper> - and that <wrapper> not being the sort of <rapper in Ray-Bans> who could [BAN] rays and "rap" the knuckles of the Solar Patroller, "packing heat" to tell Heat (if not "Heat" "Magazine" ) to "Pack up, Packet and<pack it> in !" Why would it not melt ont das velt ? Is the source of its soul and its sole still stilled by the chill <germane> [BITE] of German Bight ?

For lyin' (supine) not <lyin' (fibbin')> "Lion "Baa !"s, please see my adaptation of Larndarn poet, engraver and visionary William Blake's "The Tyger" :

~ William Blake's Lamb-Like Wail ~

...but ! To get back to the point - if EVER I can...

These entitled "3 Lions" are the heraldic beasts that grace the breasts of the badged :

ENGLAND - Three Lions on a Shirt

(and badgered ?) England Soccer Team's members as well as the threads of their steadfast <same-shirt-sporting> (probably beer not port-supping) sup(-)porters.

The logo (adapted from a design initially on the arms of Crusader King Richard the Lionheart) was brought to the fore of public consciousness in the following chart-topping song that was first recorded and released when Euro '96 was staged and contested on native English soil.

Don't forget you can (rock and) roll over these names for hyperlinks to access further information at Wikipedia.

"Three Lions" Music by The Lightning Seeds (Ian Broudie) with Lyrics by Frank Skinner and David Baddiel. First 1996 Release :

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96-zW2c8H2o]

Curious that these singers appear to be another TRIO, and yet, at tea-time there isn't a "Trio" in sight. Meanwhile Kellogg's Corn Flakes are clockable on the kitchen counter.

Football Songs do not always have to be so directly ABOUT "the beautiful game". "Nessun Dorma" from Giacomo Puccini's opera "Turandot" became a [HUGE HIT] ((")Number 2(") (and that's about right)) as a result of the BBC choosing and using it as the theme for its coverage of the Italia '90 World Cup Tournament. The eponymous heroine of the <3 Act Opera>has <3 Riddles> solved by Càlaf, a <suitor>(who apparently doesn't <suit her>), this hero then has to <"marry" Russian Roulette to Rumpelstiltskin>dragging a dutiful game through an awful all-nighter before he can dismiss Miss's misses and make her his lawful "Mrs.".

"All'alba vincerò ! Vincerò ! Vincerò !" meaning : "At dawn I will win ! I will win ! I will win !", closes Càlaf's crepuscular chorusing. Here it is - celebrated, in Concert, (and in tune (if not in Consett or in Tunisia)) by the collective called the"3 Tenors" - a thrilling, trilling trio (not a "Trio") "composed" and comprised of 2 singing Spainiards and 1 intoning Italian - the <GLEESOME THREESOME> of : José Carreras, Plácido Domingo and Luciano Pavarotti.

The Three Tenors Perform "Nessun Dorma" in Rome, 1990 :

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxbke-aHiXk]

Luciano's particular connection with soccer was that, in youth, he had had ambitions to become a professional goalkeeper. (He perspired and) it transpired that a different sort of "perfect pitch" was to out-weigh his formative fixation with the football field.

~ Note ~

The vigilant chanting, for a desired victory, of the 3-times-implored "I will win !" struck a vocalised c(h)ord of accord with the terraced tribes. "3 Lions, 3 Tenors, 3 Cheers".

~ Hip ! Hip ! Hooray ! ~

From "chorusing" ...

CHEERS for watching

...(to thankful (less-Caruso-))"carousing".

Most football fans give [CHEERS !] for Beers with the clink of their glasses.

""Little "(Hans)" Jimmy Greaves

Here's someone with "glasses" who may soon make a right spectacle of himself. The screen credit states that he is :

""Little "(Hans)" Jimmy Greaves".

"Little Hans" (and what he DOES with his Little Hands) is the infant (micturating-minor) subject of a Case Study undertaken by the psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud. The Wikipedia article about opera composer Herbert Graf suggests that he and "Little Hans" were one and the same. Small circles. OPERA. Everything is connected.

"Little Jimmy Greaves" was a fleet-foot England International Striker who, at 5ft 8", wasn't that <small> and who certainly wasn't <short> of goal-gaining grandeur - scoring, (by dashing in [DASHING DRAWERS], (to eliminate [NO-SCORE DRAWS])), more than 2 scores of scores for his country's cause <settling the "score"> that he <didn't score more than Bobby Moore> who ((probably) aided and abetted) netted 2 (totted in the back of the knotted net) not 2 score plus 2 2s (minus "tutus").

The triumphant trophy-taking team of 1966 was minus this major player on the day that they defeated Germany 4-2 but perhaps Jimmy "Grieves" no "Moor(e)" now that he has (World Cup) Finally (June 10 2009) been awarded a medal in recognition of his rôle in securing the England squad's sole stratospheric success.

Here is the man who presented the accolade :

He has his own page (if not his own "page") here at this blog :

~ (He(e) B(e)) GBPM Gordon Brown "Performs" ~

"Little Hans" was fascinated by the "widdlers" he witnessed on zoo animals. In 1962 "Little Jimmy Greaves"'s shirt was witnessed being "widdled on" by a loose (loo ?) animal spoiling and soiling a possibly perfect pitch.

Enough about wee(,)people.

This <crass on the grass> creature was a Chilean Dog not a Chilli Dog. For him, setting up a ***<Hot Dog's Hot Dogs> Stand *** might make for a <perfect $ales pitch> ; and if he were a she, with no balls and no footballs, she'd be a < perfect $ales bitch>.

I don't know if "Little Jimmy Osmond" has perfect pitch. I do know that he does not appear here and there's also [NO SIGN] of "Little Eva", "Little Richard" or......................................................... Littlehampton.

[THIS] is a sign at Littlehampton Railway Station :

("Welcome to Littlehampton") Railway Station

"Little Eva" might (emote and) loco-mote to it, although, it's a "Sign o' the Times" (that Prince is the new "Little Richard" (Hmm. I wonder if that <A1 K9> was called "Prince") and), that these days (with no "New Power Generation") she'd have to <[STEAM IN] with the spectres>(if not the Spectors (or the Ticket Inspectors)) on a <ghost train>.

...and where <goest rain> ?

Does it "Go West, young man," or does it go to the West Riding with [THIS] tempestuously tonsured "(")young(") man" who may or may not be the "Long Haired Lover from Liverpool" sung of ("With or Without (You", ewes, U2 or) perfect pitch) by a less-"long haired" and substantially younger "young man", whilst contemplating, by qualification of his pseudo-Scousery, the relative claims of Anfield and Goodison Park to be the more (not Bobby Moore or Yorkshire Moor) perfect pitch ?

Might "Little Eva" champion "(Little) Eva"ton ? My ! My ! That'd be "mint" ;............. "sweet" !

Sweeter than these sweethearts' stormy stumblings :

Long Haired(/Haretoned) Lover from Liverpool :

The doomed duo "blew it", blown <other-world>ly by the (football AND cloud-clobbering fan-exceeding) wuther of the weather...

...And so from a weather-beaten Young man to...

Carl Gustav (Wind ?) Jung

...a Basel-weathered Jung Man, via a turbulent turbine or a free "gust of wind" for his "Gustav (Wind ?)". "Carl", it may be noted, means : "man".

AUDIO TRANSCRIPTION :

"...and a lot of people felt that 'e was talking errrr through the other end of his body," - JIMMY GREAVES as CARL JUNG on SIGMUND FREUD.

Tell me about your Father (") Christmas"

"Tell me about your Father (") Christmas"

"Tell me about your father(/mother/childhood,)" might well be the the first demand of a psychoanalyst probing their (patient (?)) patient.

"Father Christmas" is a reference to appearance. [THIS] is not his sole appearance.

Sigmund Freud was a "BROWN Eyed Handsome man" I checked this with the Freud Society.

"People did not believe in my facts and thought my theories unsavoury," - SIGMUND FREUD (THE REAL) on SCRATCHY VINYL by the (")muff(")led sound of it.

Sigmund Freud - Big Bad Muvva Luvva

"Big Bad Muvva Luvva" = "Big Bad MOTHER-"Lover"".

Is it an inky inclination, insisting incest, that Sigmund Freud (almost (all moist ?) in his <birthday suit>), keeps close to his heart yet needs to get off his chest ?

Would it be (dumbly) <hum DRUM> but not "keeping ("mum(")" to ask if "Totem and Taboo" should be "Totem and Tattoo" ?

~ Sage Pages ~

"Totem and Taboo" at LibraryThing.com "Incest and the Medieval Imagination" at LibraryThing.com

"...talking errrr through the other end of his body,"

<Order the ball> to be <audible> when <taking the mic'> with a <pick-me-up> that's ...

This is "The End"

(...peaking and perking and) picking up (not Peking and Perkin and picklin' up) <<(POLLUTANTLY) PLEASURABLE PLOSIVES >> ; [HOT AIR] laid bare by a <guffy(-in-the-buff)(y)> <must 'ave> "Gustav (...Wind...)",'s indecent scent - sent to catch the drift of a draught that is DAFT ; as I'm sure URL agree ; should you brush with it (and not the law (of the land)) (or the lore of Denis Law (of Scotland)) (to bristle) 'til (,wee,) we :

~ BLOW THE WHISTLE ~

(if not "...the Man Down") on Sigmund Freud's sole (unsavoury) hole-baring raised rear for NOT being the (("only (the) lonely")) end at the end of [THIS] "This is The End".

~ MAKING "ENDS" MEAT ~

The "The End" at the end of [THIS] "This is The End" is the "the end" at **BOTH** ends of "The End" - The Doors' opening album-closing, career-commencing, epic, Attic, musical monologue.

"End"s might meet, over meat, at a meal that's replete, to over-eat with a fine "Feast of Friends" ; tuck, hosted and toasted by the <main "Man(>) Down"ing this Beggars Banquet-rivalling repast : one (over the eight, over-voicing, over-reaching, over-too-soon) James Douglas Morrison whose arrestingly Oedipal onstage outpourings and percussively punctuated poetic posturings saw his and his (sometimes banned but never bland) band propelled to prosperous prominence until the sway of the swigger singer's (unJagger) swagger awed (and disordered) audiences, alarming anxious authorities who sought to shorten his beautiful (")(a) (little) game" by calling a (more than cooling) [PENALTY !] playing the less reefer-y referee's <(well) red card> against the (no more "stoned" than "The Stones") rocked rocker's <well-read card>.

[SNAP !] it said and [SNAP !] he did.

There's another "man Down", left, let down, on the left. Wincing, he is David Beckham - England's most-snapped Captain, a snappy-dresser off the field he has been dismissed from for the deviant display of both snapped tempers and snapped tendons.

In 2002, following a metatarsal-mashing clash with Aldo Duscher, the bone-bruised Beckham had mere weeks in which to, at least, match match ("Ooo ! That's a [SNAP !]" and Ooo ! That's a quote from "Bod" which was voiced and scored by Derek Griffiths who sings in the Trio advert previously posted so that's : [SNAP !] again ! Two [SNAP !]s !! [SNAP !]) fitness in order to fly out to and partake in that year's World Cup Competition.

No doubt his tormented toe would have caused his foot to balloon. "Oedipus" means "swollen foot". That's <SIMPLE>, not <COMPLEX>.

They think it's all over

"They think it's all over..."

Is it "all over" Number 6 (not "Number Six")'s finger ? What is "it" ?

Perhaps "it" is "<SIMPLE> Soap" that John Terry is detecting on his digit.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjRgiX-4C-g]

"NOT PERFUMED. NOT COLOURED. JUST KIND.", the delicate, dirt-ditching, detergent could be good for his <COMPLEX>ion - but, clearly, it can't preserve the (squirted ?) squad's "clean sheet" nor defend the Defender, [SNAP !] and his troubled team-mates, from "getting into a lather" as the <Centre Back> et al are<sent er back> [SNAP !] (blighted to Blighty) [SNAP !] for "an early bath".

"There were "tears before bedtime", on the bus back to Britain, as [THIS] "They think it's all over..." truly WAS the *final* "The End" of England's 2006 World Cup (Final-missing) campaign, although if Freud had had ("had" and/or "had") lanky-lad Peter Crouch on the couch [SNAP !] [OUCH !], he might vouch to couch pain and pick [THIS] pic' to ( "header" and Hedda-less) head a pro-Cocaine Campaign.

Association Football Player Positions

Official Association Football Player Positions for the "4 3 3 Formation" :

Left wing Centre forward Right wing

Left midfield Centre midfield Right midfield

Left back Centre-back Centre-back Right Back

Goalkeeper

Player Positions

It may be a little "off centre" to make every "Centre" a "Centaur", there are "Sent Tories" with their "Right Wing" politically campaigning posters plus the Labour Party's equivalents and some ambivalence from Freud seen, shimmying, as the floating voter in a trio (if not a Trio) of positions.

Indirect Free Kick

In a black()shirt, if not a black mood, Jung signals an "Indirect Free Kick" ; he is not making any sort of political(ly jesting) gesture, he is not hailing Hitler or a (black cab) taxi...

Tunnel

...perhaps <tax evasion> is on his mind as he skeddadles, burly, from the Berlin stadium, to race to his roots in Switzerland en route for a full European Tour. Like all the best gigs, (if not "<All, the Best>, Giggs"), it's something of a blur, emotional and motional.

Perhaps [SNAP !] ((s) if not <Schnapps>)) "Tunnel Vision" is a cure for "Motion Blur". Freud's "Tunnel Vision" would cause him to visualise this tunnel as a vagina - decidedly a <MIDDLE passage> not a <BACK passage> compelling expelling a (telling-smelling) back-packer.

Bridge

Jung turned his back on Freud's (blinking) blinkered "Tunnel Vision"...

Freud from Above

...and, arguably, looked down on his former friend's "introverted", grass-roots view and its solitary (un-"Football) Focus(").

Freud from Below

With his head in the clouds and thinking the sky's the limit, (like Sky's subscription charges for the football) [Heavens! ] Jung added <<SOUL >> to sole, ((to) 2 soles) (plimsolls) (not sole or "Soul II Soul"), leaving his trainer in just the (injust ?) dust of train-trailling trainers.