Tuned-Up TURNIP Turned Up
~ Saturday 21 January 2006 ~
More carrot-haired
than carrot-nosed
(he's a
beardy-weirdy,
maudlin mawpin
(not a
snowman (or "The
Crowman")) maaaaan),
this latter-day Scatterbrook-chatterbox
chances
chants 'n' dances for (dunnocks
and)
dunces
('n' the fame-framed farmyard fun of it) in
an outdoor 'omage to Gummidge.
~ ORIGINAL LYRICS ~
MY
LYRICS
SET TO THE TV THEME TUNE
FROM THE SERIES : "WORZEL GUMMIDGE"
There's
a crucified
character crowning the cornfield
And his
fan base are feathered but they're not angels
Are these messengers harbingers
of a lower yield
Or mere scavengers,
all, who love strange smells ?
Here
the pong's in profusion
Sneak that reek in your beak
You might seek out seclusion
It's a tried technique
When the bouquet is O.K.
Super seeds
supercede
The germ of an idea
Look out ! Stand clear !
~ ORIGINAL MUSIC ~
Original background music (possibly PERFORMED)
by Denis
King and (probably PENNED by)
George Evans ; "borrowed", to
>>bring JOLLITY to this frivolity,<<
from the Willis
Hall/Keith
Waterhouse BBC TV
serialisation of Barbara
Euphan Todd's popular
"Worzel
Gummidge" books.
<< Shout goin' out >>
also to Jon Pertwee for the post crack 'n' creak cry.
Sub-standard
subtitles provided for
those
with "ears
of corn"
& "feet
of clay".
UNFOLDING THE SCAFFOLDING
Where we won't be gilding (the) Lily the Pink...
First Shot
This is the <first
shot> from my <first
shot>
with Reallusion's
<first shot>
at .iClone.
-
the 3D character animation package
that
marked the Taiwanese
software company's
transition from its .It's
Me. greetings-creator
to a more open-ended machinima
film-making tool.
I have an interest in musical
theatre and
saw this program as a route to being able to
flesh out (or out-.Flash.
(.MX.))
some of my
(skinny-Ninny) song
scenarios.
I had a brief daliance (yep - ONE
go) with
Lionhead Studio's much cheaper offering
.The
Movies. but, although it STILL
(2009 (!))
has better clothes and music
than .iClone.,
there were a number of drawbacks
that caused
me to draw
back and withdraw
swiftly
to
"try my hand"
- and this "crucified
character"'s (tied ?) hands
in a dedicated
and (newly-deadpan)
environment.
There's a crucified
Is the <Palm
Pre> pronounced
"Palm Preeee" or "Palm Pray"
?
Palms
(if not "palms")
pressed (if not "pressed");
here he has his <hands
held> (if not his handheld)
in a position of prayer.
His shabby, ill-fitting (mock-Messiah)
attire is dyed
green, as the only form of clothing-customisation
achievable at .iClone
1.'s inception. That a scarecrow
is TIEd to wearing
an utterly unSUITable
<SUIT &
TIE>
is indicative of the <(starling-)startling>
sparceness of
starting sartorial selection. The ((wholly) (unholy))
whole hole where the worn worn wear
of his jacket
show's he's "out
of pocket" is a bit
of a bug (and a
bit of a bugger) but not the [BITE] of a bug.
Thus <moth-eaten> is <math-(myth-bee-be-)beaten>,
a tatty tatterdemalion-bogle to ogle, not best-dressed
but not crestfallen.
.StarMaker.
(the [FREE] head-designing
applet
Lionhead Studios promoted .The
Movies. with
(choosing to follow the example of the hugely
successful .The
Sims 2. by publicising a forthcoming
title with an engaging character-creator
rather
than a traditional sample of actual
gameplay) was
used to make...and apply make
up to his face...
There's a crucified character
...which isn't a face
that he "keeps
in a jar by
the door", (a <door> that may be <ajar>
; or
<jammed shut> (with <a jar>
of jam)) but
rather the everyday visage
of a stranger to
shelter, exposed to each element, a "one off", wan
oft'-tethered, awl-awed, all-weather(ed)-one ;
hardly human, a hardy homunculus.
And his fan base are
Whenever I read : "fan
base" I think
: "flan
base"
and so I was thinking
about the flan
BEFORE I
mentioned the jam
(and didn't mention "The
Jam"
or the fact that Mr.
Weller has never covered
"Blackberry
Way" <Might he Palm
Pre for a
BlackBerry...Wa(-he)y ?> and "go down a "Storm"?).
The move (if not "The
Move") our manikin
has
made is to out-stretch his <sketched as :
over-stretched> arms
echoed
(un-Narcissistically)
by the rape-draping
shadows (if not by The
(string-stinging) Shadows)) welcomingly, embracingly,
in an aping of wings (if not "Wings")
that, in this
.SUNNY
SETTING.,
is not unreminiscent of
Melissa
Gilbert's joyful pseudo-aeronautics as
Charles Ingalls' child at the finalé of the [End Credits]
from the television
serialisation of "Little
House
on the Prairie" :
This isn't even a <pilot>
episode (so if ya wanna
<WAIL>
- <"Drop">
it !) but what a terrific (and
super-subtle) EXTRA [End Credit] CREDIT is discernable
in the flighty action transforming Laura
Ingalls Wilder
into the wilder, elevated, venerated
Laura Houghtaling Ingalls !
Jazz Hands
Hmm....so now we've weaved (sic.) a :
<Palm Pre> Prayer-Prayer er on the PRAIRIE
Small wonder he might applaud with Jazz Hands and then...
And his fan base are feathered
...turn tail in imitation of the constituents
of
his "fan base", the
very rows of (unrosey)
crows
he is supposed to scatter
(from Scatterbrook).
And his fan base are feathered but(t)
Who knows
if his "feathered but(t)"
is
as "base"
as it seems or an
ace placed
to counter disgrace...
they're not
...and disgruntlement. Here, standing sentry,
gently blocked by gentry,
(THAT "House"
on
the hill (not the prairie)
is aught but "Little")
his "look"
looks more <arm-less>
than
<'armless>, roughly ready for entry
in
"Sneer of the Year"...
ANGELS
...which he won't win
with <winning grinning>
in the <style of
a smile>...
...and while he's no Robbie Williams ...
ARe these
...he can tell
his "R"s
(and his "feathered but(t)")
from his elbow, and, indeed, his (or anyone else
(Who's "Elsie" ??)'s) "Elbow".
harbingers
"R" is for Recoil.
Oh ! The <Hands
Up ! Game's Up !>
[[[ [[[ [[[ HORROR !
]]] ]]] ]]]
of the questionable
[cliché]s to come...
of a lower
Ceci n'est pas : Aloha from Hawaii.
or mere
The horrifically
questionable [cliché]
of the
questioning [cliché] takes us from a shrug
(we can't shrug off)
to a...
all who love
...hug we mightn't want to.
Here the pong's in profusion
We also "mightn't want to" <wig
out> in a wig like
this. Only (wiggy) Ziggy
Stardust and Annie
Lennox
would dare <mull
it> over (as a comb-over
?)
and even then they would surely do so gingerly.
*#* HOWEVER ! *#*
Orange
coiffures shorn, here they are,
a peerless (pear-less)
pair united :
Umber 'Umbles Amber's Ambles
Don't [MOCK THE FROCK], the
Aberdonian
artiste comprehensively out-kohls
the
cock-eyed cosmetics of our bodach-rocais
at 1992's "Freddie
Mercury Tribute Concert".
Sneak that reek in your beak
Has he ginger on his finger ?
This is <<NOT
RUDE>> at all ; unless
I mention Biggles
(and Ginger Hebbelthwaite's
(men-shunned) unmentionables)...
Sneak that reek in your beak 2
...and that might make some people
<<VERY CROSS>>
causing them (whether
the cors
(or "The
Corrs") sing
or [STAY SILENT])
to get their ganders up - which is entirely
unintended and inapporopriate
when it is their
peckers, not their ganders,
that should be
praised for staying
raised.
Sneak that reek in your beak 3
Here is a "peck(-)er" - "keeping
his pecker up"
by <getting
down> not getting
(or going)
down".
The feathers from his "feathered
but(t)"
could be described as "down"
or "eiderdown"
(eidervethought (not as an afterthought))
particularly as he definitely
DUCKs down
to bend over and show us his "R"s.
You might seek
The return of the questionable [cliché].
Over-used as a posture connoting <someone
searching>
(I also deployed a similar <brow-shielding demeanour>
for the "Wicked Old Woman"
in "Knowledge
of
Porridge"'s line : "This criminal
sort sought").
The stance and its
glance
are more than a
<salute in a suit> and will be widely recognised,
despite their apparent
arbitrariness, with
regard to their emphasising the act of :
"looking like yer looking".
This strange, single-handed, situation seems
to
have little to do with any natural or necessary
human behaviour [focussed
on focus] for -
unless #*~ dazzled ~*# - how does
[BLOCKING OUT] the light improve
sight ?
A <mightier
mime> might
be made from
mirroring the upper limbs to create an overall
(not an over-awing) oracular
oval with the skull,
centred, as the iris,
in <an eye of
arms>...or if
"tools" and TWO
hands could be (usefully)
employed he might <THROW
SHAPES>
goggling, a-gog, (if not Gog
and Magog) with
invisible ""Air Binoculars" or an "Air Telescope".
The last of these visual
aids being <notably nautical>
reminds us of the musical <nautical
notes> of the
(far and) fair-seeing
seafarers who dance
the steps
of "The Sailor's Hornpipe".
Here are some illustrative clips
(tea-clippers,
for the most part, clipped
out):
Canadian
Choreographers Keep CLEAR
(not Clear Of) the Stylised (Sailor-Suit)
Salute with Rock-y (not "Rocky")
Riffs :
Virtuoso Sebastian
Blomfield Shows that Actually,
"The Sailor's Hornpipe" Can Never Be TOO .ROCK.-Y
:
For the Record, this Eclectic Electric, is as TREASUREd as any (Ship)Wreck's Hoarde by Vinylseat at YouTube :
Capstan "Keep Fit" at the 1987 Royal Tournament :
<Boaters
in Boaters> at the Spectacular 1993
Royal Tournament Finalé ("The Sailor's
Hornpipe" Segment plays from 4:16) :
Perhaps it is THAT
VERY (in-the-rigging)
JIG(ging) that encultured us to accept the
<protracted stylised salute> as an exaggerated
signifier of a folksy, surely-shore-seeking,
(cussing (?) Sea King) fo'c'sle
focusser...
out seclusion
...a CHANGE of focus interiorises
another form of "Naval
Gazing"...
It's a tried technique
...where [Shh
!] the [Shh !] "Shay"
shyness of the [Shh
!] shire [Shh
!] shines...
When the bouquet is O.K.
...and yet it is still not rare to [Shh
!] share
(more than the plough([Shh
!])share).
Supercede
He is neither <sucking
his thumb> nor
<thumbing his nose>, but I like to pretend
("Pretentious
? "Moi" ?") that he may be
about to ; this is one of those moments that
you can only catch in .FREEZE
FRAME. and
[Shh !] should certainly...
Look out !
"Look out !" for...
Twisted Tatterdemalion
...for foregrounding as a favourite.
I like this <Twisted Tatterdemalion>...
Stand clear !
...more than he likes himself ...
Stand clear !
...when things are not RIGHT...
Stand clear !
...and he's been LEFT...
Stand clear !
"to face the consequences" of the
horrifically
questionable [cliché] of following... :
(Worzel Gummidge
Opening and Closing Credits
(for the COMPLETIST)) Compiled at YouTube
by lesather
(with instances of Worzel falling
both ~forwards~ AND ~backwards~) :
(A conciser clip
that still shows MORE than is
pert(wee)inent
to this Blog Post. (Archived at
YouTube by ScallywagsTV)
:
...in someone else's (she get's EVERYWHERE !)...
Stand clear !
... footsteps !
