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~ Bitter Man's Vitamins ~

~ Monday January 5 2004 ~

He's fit as a fiddle
He's fit as a flea
He's 85,000 times fitter than me
He knows every muscle
Each vein and corpuscle
Is pulling TOGETHER
To gather the prize :
A shiny medallion
That dazzles the eyes
This sleek, swarthy stallion
Will bare recognise
From his podium-placing
The pain I am facing
Debasing !
I'm chasing not catching my breath

Have I bungs in my lungs
And a float in my throat
That is guttingly cutting my chance to devote
My days to a diet of damsons and dates
And pippified pomegranates plastered on plates ?

You ARE what you eat
And you reap what you sow
Be it gluten or wheat
It is sentenced to show
You should shake OFF the sugar
With vim and with vigour
Assault Added Salt
Make the regime de rigeur

Just consume shoots and fruits
(To SQUEEEEEEEZE into tracksuits)
And the juice Only Zeus May Bisto(w)

Aah,

Ambrosia makes posier
the beautiful bod's of Olympian Gods

Athletic
Aesthetic
Pneumatic
Dramatic

Asthmatic ?
[SNIFFITY SNOFFITY SNIFF]
Only REALLY rarely

They've such figures because they are SWIGGERS !

~ Bitter Man's Vitamins' Creation ~

This free verse was completed as an extension
to the first three lines ("He's fit as a fiddle, He's
fit as a flea, He's 85,000 times fitter than me
,")

which was a spontaneous remark I made whilst
playing with my puppy.

The opening comment was re-contextualised
to discuss athleticism in the fully
sportingly-competitive environment of the
Olympic Games. There are references to
Ambrosia Creamed Rice and Bisto Gravy
that'll prolly be lost on an international
audience - like the one what this is DONE
*bound* to attract).

~ Talking <TALKING HEADS> ~

At the close of 2003, I discovered Reallusion and
their hugely appealing .Crazy Talk. lip-synch
animation software. Despite the facts that
the faces you could employ to adapt, at that time,
had to be contained within fairly small,
low-resolution images with output biased towards
closed-format, SQUARE, web-based and executable
e.mail greetings rather than the much more versatile
DV-quality film that was introduced for the vastly
superior .V4. release, I was immediately
captivated by the program's potential
.

These two films show the result of my earliest attempt.
.Crazy Talk 3.5. was yet to include teeth and the
hardest aspect of production was selecting a
character that wouldn't seem overly disfigured
by the imposition of a crudely slit mouth.

The first example shows the entirely unmodified
result, the second has improved audio and the
benefit of bold subtitles...the latter is,
therefore, "the one to watch".

ORIGINAL CRAZY TALK 3.5-CREATED
SQUARE ANIMATION :

 

REVISED VERSION WITH ADDED SUBTITLES :

 

 

INDEX
HOME
CONTACT
FEEDBACK
CONTENTS
24 SEP 2009 :
Reactionary
Rant and
Screencasts
about
PhotoDraw
14 AUG 2009 :
Kit Cat Kid's
Cause "fur"
(Non-Compliant) Complaint
05 JUN 2009 :
William Blake's "Lamb-like Wail"
30 NOV 2008 :
Emma Lazarus's
"The New
Colossus"
10 AUG 2008 :
W.H. Auden's
"O where are
you going ?"
04 MAY 2008:
The Tropic of Capricorn (Chips)
07 FEB 2008 :
The Confessions (and Expressions)
of St. Augustine
18 JAN 2008 :
Black and White
at The White House
08 JAN 2008 :
((He(e) Be(e))
G.B. P.M.
Gordon Brown
Performs/
Transforms
"London Town"
01 DEC 2007 :
The $ub-Rhym€ ("Mark" It !)
17 SEP 2007 :
Unguessed
Ghost Guest
12 JUN 2007 :
These Boots
Were Made
With CloneCloth
17 MAR 2007 :
SAINTS ALIVE !
((Congregation
(Bowl)ed (Over)
Fisher of Men's
St.Patrick's
Day/Birthday
BOLD
FISHERMAN
Boogie
02 MAR 2007 :
iClone
Motion Editor -
Custom
Animation
Example
18 OCT 2006 :
Lord Above,
Sweet
Immanuel
(or What the
Hell was THAT ?)
12 AUG 2006 :
Psocker
SychoAnalysis
- The Jung
Juans'
Fraudian "Slip"
on the Skip
07 JUN 2006 :
The
Ratcatcher's
Daughter
23 APR 2006 :
Toil in Soil
18 FEB 2006 :
Animal Rites
21 JAN 2006 :
Tuned-Up
TURNIP
Turned Up
05 NOV 2005 :
EWE Who
"Yoo Hoo !"
a Good
(Hidin') Heidi
13 JUN 2005 :
Knowledge
of Porridge
24 AUG 2004 :
Quem Pastores
12 JUL 2004 :
Mundane
Mo(u)rning
with the
Dhoop Dope
12 JAN 2004 :
Aisle Evil -
((Pep-) Talk
Like a Pirate)
05 JAN 2004 :
Bitter Man's
Vitamins
10 DEC 2003 :
Day Of(f)
Wra(ith) -
Mozart with
the Mo(i)st
(')art
06 NOV 2003 :
Flash(in') in
the Pan-Indian Sub(in)continent

 
 

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