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~ Knowledge of Porridge - 01 ~

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IN ITS UNPERPLEXED HEXED TEXT FILM VERSION

Knowledge of Porridge -
Poet Laureate Robert Southey's
(Pre-Goldilocks) Version of
"The Story of the Three Bears"
Adapted as an Original Animated Rhyming Song

Links to 2 Pages of Commentary

You are HERE [01]

You are NOT Here [02]

**~ BEAR with Me ~ 01 of 02**

[THIS] is the fourth (and final) "film" that I .made.
using the .2002-build. of .Macromedia Flash MX.
(with the .animated. text .created. in and imported
from .SWiSHMax..

~ Download Adobe Flash Player [HERE] ~

[SCROLL !]
DOWN,

DOWN,

DOWN,

and (do) bear with me, to read/hear
Robert Southey's .19th Century. .story..
It IS here !! (er....or there !).

Clicking this [GROOVY GREEN TITLE SCREEN]
should (delightfully ?) transport you to my .3.29MB.
<loopy 'n' loopin'> original, full ("fun")-sized
800x600 pixel adaptation :

Link to : 800x600 Knowledge of Porridge Loopily-Looping Flash

~ Friday 13 June 2005 ~

The original large .Flash. variant .PLAY.s perpetually
with none of the handy .CONTROLS.
(.PAUSE., .STOP., .REWIND., .FAST FORWARD.,
.***MUTE***. !) that grace the
~ small but perfectly formed ~ (currently) best
quality .avi.-conversion hosted at and streaming
from the life-(changing server/)preservers
at YouTube --->

This multi-scene .presentation. (my .three. earlier
.Flash. .Greetings. are single-scene .projects., that
became monstrously unwieldy, particularly in
the case of "Day Of(f) Wra(i)th"), marries
.nineteenth century . Poet Laureate
Robert Southey's pre-.GOLDILOCKS. .telling.
of "The Story of the Three Bears" to
a .melody. from "Fiddler on the Roof".

I think the .lyrics. took a .couple. of .STABS.
(certainly sounds like it - .OUCH !.) and a
similar .number. of .hours. to .prepare. .whilst.
the .ANIMATION., such as it is, (when
.drawing.'s NOT my thang - I want to :
# >> --- << WRITE rhymes >> --- << #
to other people's music and only got into
<< # caterwauling and colourings # >>
to try to convey .chronologies., .illustrating.
.TIMINGS. in ways that FLAT words,
plainly presented on a page, mayn't
be relied upon to clearly carry over) was a
staggering .five MONTHS . (!!!) in the making.
I think I
s------t------r------e------t------c------h------e------d
the
static-.image.-manipulating-by-a-wilful-incompetent
possibilities ~ to the .nth. ~ and, although there's
much in the result that I DON'T like
(I shudder at how BAD the .stormy.-stairs .scene. is),
I'm happy with the magnifying glass and
the .squirty blood droplets..

Here are some "FLAT words" being governed by
a Frames Per Second Spreadsheet calculating
the line breaks and .scene.-swaps that would work
best with the .SWiSHMax.-.generated.g.subtitles..

Frames-Per-Second Spreadsheet

Knowledge of Porridge Animation Timings Sideways Screenshot

Frames Per Second Spreadsheet Screencast

Are you still here ? Good Lord ! ...
...~ Good for you ~ ; and thank you.

~ Original Song Lyrics ~

.Written. : .9.01pm Tuesday June 25th 2002.

Palming Off Ste(a)rn Bears

.Noisificated. : .2:56pm Tuesday July 9th 2002.

Knowledge of Porridge

Picture a sylvan scene
Deceptively serene
Each plant painted pristine
With brambles in between

Their thorny spines incline
The dreamer to divine
That spells enthral these dells
So watch where you recline

Nature's barbed wire
Dampens the desire
To express a trespass
But it can't prevent
People from peeping
Covetously creeping
Nimbly when the chance is sent

A wicked old woman
Was wand'ring in the woods
And wond'ring to herself
Where she might pilfer goods

With minimal effort
This criminal sort sought
A latch left off the catch
Security at nought

The house was vacant
But its contents fragrant
So the impish vagrant
Very flagrantly
Got the hot pots
Of breakfast that were cooling
Drooling over portions scant

Her great discomfiture
Was that the temp'rature
Of ev'ry serving was
Unnerving to endure
And as she cursed and swore
Her chosen seating tore
So she retired to bed
Since thieving's such a chore

Meanwhile, returning,
Traipsed a hungry trio
Didn't want to be so
Peckish past this point

They gave the heave-ho
To the short reprieve
Awarded to their joyful joint

And found that their cottage
Had suffered a rampage
Victims of a pillage
Tailored to enrage

Who might they engage
To answer for an outrage
Hooligans could not upstage ?

Well, inspection is the seed
Of detection it is said
And inflection, if shrill,
May inflict shreds of dread

Witness three bears
A-skipping up the stairs
They'll soon forget their cares
Their target mumble prayers

To try to silence violence
In the sneaking, shrieking
Squeaking, speaking of

A Little Small Wee Bear
Who's sad to find his chair
Is now well past repair

Share knowledge of por ridge

~ Robert Southey's Story ~

The Story of the Three Bears
by Robert Southey
((Glorious) 12th August 1774 - 21st March 1843)

Original .19th Century . text .read. here by me and
posted to my AuralAurora Channel at YouTube :

ONCE upon a time there were three Bears, who lived together in a house of their own in a wood. One of them was a Little, Small, Wee Bear; and one was a Middle-sized Bear, and the other was a Great, Huge Bear. They had each a pot for their porridge, a little pot for the Little, Small, Wee Bear; and a middle-sized pot for the Middle Bear; and a great pot for the Great, Huge Bear. And they had each a chair to sit in: a little chair for the Little, Small, Wee Bear; and a middle-sized chair for the Middle Bear; and a great chair for the Great, Huge Bear. And they had each a bed to sleep in: a little bed for the Little, Small, Wee Bear; and a middle-sized bed for the Middle Bear; and a great bed for the Great, Huge Bear.

One day, after they had made the porridge for their breakfast and poured it into their porridge pots, they walked out into the wood while the porridge was cooling, that they might not burn their mouths by beginning too soon to eat it. And while they were walking a little old woman came to the house. She could not have been a good, honest, old woman; for, first, she looked in at the window, and then she peeped in at the keyhole, and, seeing nobody in the house, she lifted the latch. The door was not fastened, because the bears were good bears, who did nobody any harm, and never suspected that anybody would harm them. So the little old woman opened the door and went in; and well pleased she was when she saw the porridge on the table. If she had been a good little old woman she would have waited till the bears came home, and then, perhaps, they would have asked her to breakfast, for they were good bears - a little rough or so, as the manner of bears is, but for all that very good-natured and hospitable. But she was an impudent, bad old woman, and set about helping herself.

So first she tasted the porridge of the Great Huge Bear, and that was too hot for her; and she said a bad word about that. And then she tasted the porridge of the Middle Bear, and that was too cold for her; and she said a bad word about that, too. And then she went to the porridge of the Little, Small, Wee Bear, and tasted that, and that was neither too hot nor too cold, but just right; and she liked it so well that she ate it all up; but the naughty old woman said a bad word about the little porridge pot, because it did not hold enough for her.

Then the little old woman sat down in the chair of the Great, Huge Bear, and that was too hard for her. And then she sat down in the chair of the Middle Bear, and that was too soft for her. And then she sat down in the chair of the Little Small, Wee Bear, and that was neither too hard nor too soft, but just right. So she seated herself in it, and there she sat till the bottom of the chair came out, and down came she, plump upon the ground. And the naughty old woman said wicked words about that, too.

Then the little old woman went upstairs into the bedchamber in which the three Bears slept. And first she lay down upon the bed of the Great, Huge Bear, but that was too high at the head for her. And next she lay down upon the bed of the Middle Bear, and that was too high at the foot for her. And then she lay down upon the bed of the Little, Small, Wee Bear, and that was neither too high at the head nor at the foot, but just right. So she covered herself up comfortably, and lay there till she fell asleep. By this time the three Bears thought their porridge would be cool enough, so they came home to breakfast. Now the little old woman had left the spoon of the Great, Huge Bear standing in his porridge.

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN AT MY PORRIDGE!"

said the Great, Huge Bear, in his great gruff voice. And when the Middle Bear looked at his, he saw that the spoon was standing in it, too. They were wooden spoons; if they had been silver ones the naughty old woman would have put them in her pocket.

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN AT MY PORRIDGE!"

said the middle Bear, in his middle voice.

Then the Little, Small, Wee Bear looked at his, and there was the spoon in the porridge pot, but the porridge was all gone.

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN AT MY PORRIDGE, AND HAS EATEN IT ALL UP!"

said the Little, Small, Wee Bear, in his little, small, wee voice.

Upon this the three Bears, seeing that some one had entered their house and eaten up the Little, Small, Wee Bear's breakfast, began to look about them. Now the little old woman had not put the hard cushion straight when she rose from the chair of the Great, Huge Bear.

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY CHAIR!"

said the Great, Huge Bear, in his great, rough, gruff voice.

And the little old woman had squatted down the soft cushion of the Middle Bear.

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY CHAIR!"

said the Middle Bear, in his middle voice.

And you know what the little old woman had done to the third chair.

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY CHAIR, AND HAS SAT THE BOTTOM OUT OF IT!"

said the Little, Small, Wee Bear, in his little, small, wee voice.

Then the three bears thought it necessary that they should make further search; so they went upstairs into their bedchamber. Now the little old woman had pulled the pillow of the Great, Huge Bear out of its place.

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN LYING IN MY BED!"

said the Great, Huge Bear, in his great, rough, gruff voice.

And the little old woman had pulled the bolster of the Middle Bear out of its place.

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN LYING IN MY BED!"

said the Middle Bear, in his middle voice.

And when the Little, Small, Wee Bear came to look at his bed, there was the bolster in its place, and upon the pillow was the little old woman's ugly, dirty head-which was not in its place, for she had no business there.

"SOMEBODY HAS BEEN LYING IN MY BED-AND HERE SHE IS!"

said the Little, Small, Wee Bear, in his little, small, wee voice.

The little old woman had heard in her sleep the great, rough, gruff voice of the Great, Huge Bear, but she was so fast asleep that it was no more to her than the moaning of wind or the rumbling of thunder. And she had heard the middle voice of the Middle Bear, but it was only as if she had heard some one speaking in a dream. But when she heard the little, small, wee voice of the Little, Small, Wee Bear, it was so sharp and so shrill that it awakened her at once. Up she started, and when she saw the three bears on one side of the bed she tumbled herself out at the other and ran to the window. Now the window was open, because the Bears, like good, tidy bears as they were, always opened their bedchamber window when they got up in the morning. Out the little old woman jumped, and whether she broke her neck in the fall or ran into the wood and was lost there, or found her way out of the wood and was taken up by the constable and sent to the House of Correction for a vagrant as she was, I cannot tell. But the three Bears never saw anything more of her.

**~ BEAR with Me ~ 01 of 02**

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