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~ Knowledge of Porridge - 02 ~

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Knowledge of Porridge -
Poet Laureate Robert Southey's
(Pre-Goldilocks) Version of
"The Story of the Three Bears"
Adapted as an Original Animated Rhyming Song

~ BEAR with Me ~ 02 of 02

You are NOT Here [01]

You are HERE [02]

~ Knowledge of Porridge ~

Knowledge of Porridge ORIGINAL Flash Version :

Click [HERE] for the Raw (Roar?) 800x600 pixel
Loopily-Looping Macromedia Flash MX Version

Knowledge of Porridge AVI Version at YouTube :

~ Finding My BEARings ~

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More "pick-the-locks" than .GOLDILOCKS.,
the .19th Century. .Poet Laureate 's version of
"THE STORY OF THE THREE BEARS"
solicits small sympathy for its lairy, sweary,
opportunistic .octagenarian. breaker and enterer...

Knowledge of Porridge Title Screen
Knowledge of Porridge Title Screen
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<Cappin' it all> as more <Cap'in Oats> than
<Cap
'in Oates
>, this ".capital. fellow", (clearly
NOT <cap in 'and> OR <'andicapped>, given
that in .Flash MX. he's taken to .flashing.
(stolen ?) <.bling. as his "thing">) is
*"dandy
-capped"* in a hat that's "all that" ;
he feels no .g.u.ilt. about the .gilt. of locks busted
to gain .Gold.(y) lockets....if not (yet) .Gold.ilocks.

With neither .baubles. nor "Bubbles" for Chumps
OR Chimps, Southey's "C"'s NOT the South(y)
Seas but, instead, at head, the initial of
the windy city
, a .sign. of support for
the Chicago Bears.

The Forest Floor
In Awe of the Forest Floor and the Forest's Flaw
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Our .first. .view. is of the leafy forest floor,
its flaw is that the .colours., if not evergreen,
are MOSTLY green...moistly green...too green,
really, to be beneath our feet...

Bears in the Mist
Bear-Foot in the Park without George or a Big-Foot (Yet...eee !)
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...and soft enough to cushion bare feet or -
indeed - bear feet as we .PAUSE. to observe
that these imprints aren't the (~ On Your)
marks (~) of human sprints ; No no. THESE
paws
bear CLAWS - a name for "Nails"...

Picture a Sylvan Scene
Picture a Sylvan Scene
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...and "nails" would, doubtlessly, be required
to afix to a wall, the woodland "Picture",
once framed, and labelled, as above.

Mist cleared, the "Sylvan Scene" is
seen...... sylvanly ; from the FRONT.

Deceptively serene
Deceptively serene
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I don't know if it is the "Western Front" or
the "Eastern Front" but a dove bearing (and
perhaps as good at not ~ losing its bearings ~
as its carrier pigeon cousin) an olive branch
indicates : "war is over"...

...(or war is more <over-seas> than <over-seen>,
like Overlord, "I wish it were over," Lord).

Screenshot of Atari 8-Bit "Eastern Front" Gameplay. "Total War" that Ran.
May 24, 1942 Screenshot of Atari 8-Bit Strategy Game :
"Eastern Front". "Total War" without the BSOD.

~ "Game Over" ~

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A .fine weather. .screenshot. (much of the conflict
takes place in .icy. conditions), (nabbed from the
ever-informative Wikipedia
) of the .1980s. Atari
8-bit "Eastern Front". This .proggie. was a toughie
and .pre-dated. the "Total War" franchise by .years....

~ Grape-Shot Gripe ~

...it also loaded and ran - its soldiers falling
victim to the atrocious attrition and <blue
LIMBS
of death
> caused by the .cold. rather
than the dismal <BLUE SCREENS OF DEATH>
that are all (the non-marching)
.March 2009.'s "Empire : Total War"
has delivered to my PC.

~ Edit ~

Ook ! No longer true

Edit.

Edit Edit I have since found a solution.

Drivers from Creative Labs kicked The
Creative Assembly
into gear(s of Total War).

Each plant painted pristine
Each plant painted pristine
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In a .May. where .one. needn't dismay
(and the .graphics. .display.),
"Each plant painted pristine,"
is a far-more-welcome Bluebell...

Their thorny spines incline
Their thorny spines incline

...er...unless it is a brambell - er, I
mean a "bramble"...and scramble to...

So watch where you recline
So watch where you recline !

...ramble on and insist that you [LOOK !]
at [THIS] roller's wrist for the "watch"
(it's a roller's not a Rolex) in
"So watch where you recline !".

To express a trespass
To express a trespass
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With sponges and spongers at large, that Rolex
had better be .water.-proof AND in$ured against
<deft theft>.

The bramble, with a hole in its leaf looking like
the eye of a pecking bird, is a vicious version of
the "dove from above" ; a sort of courageous
(non-oxymoronic) chicken...

People from creeping
People from creeping
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This back-packer's hand gesture is therefore not
a rabbit (or a .satanic.) shadow puppet shape - but
a secret .sign., divine - that of the << Zen Hen >>.

A wicked old woman
A wicked old woman
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From amongst the blooming bluebells emerges
a grand dame, so senior she may have been
(laid) in the "Bluebell" line-up or laid the
Bluebell Line. Blue-rinsed (hence the
hair-hiding headscarf), now she's more likely
to end up in a "line-up" - not least for the
crimes of her un-read, blue lines.

With minimal effort
With minimal effort
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< ~ Can't see the trees for the wood (!) ~>
...and who says this woman's offence
................................ ..is to be a "fence" ?

This criminal sort sought
This criminal sort sought
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Not waving OR drowning
, "This criminal sort"
seems somewhat short of being a "sort" and
not ~ as thick as .two. (or even .seven. (odd))
short planks
~.

A latch left off the catch
A latch left off the catch
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[LOOK !] There's a LOCK ! There's WOOD !
There's a "Wicked Old Woman".
If she was "The Wicked Lady" she'd
be Margaret Lockwood !!

The house was vacant
The house was vacant

...but if she only had to look(-) in and
<sniff the .whiff.>...

But its contents fragrant
But its contents fragrant

...to identify the ((non-sauce) source (of)))
the cookin' .smell., she'd be Marguerite
(not General) Patten.
A "Grr !" Girl in the Guerre.

Of breakfast that were cooling
Of breakfast that were cooling
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Despite the seeming "evidence" in the precedence
of this platter-spattered beau table-top tableau,
<General Patton> did not issue a <general patent>
for the .production. of Purple Heart-patterned
breakfast bowls fashioned from up-turned
military millinery *
(* - that's "heroes' helmets" to you !).

Spoons as Notes
Spoons as Notes
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This <"little liar"> makes a <little "lyre"> out of
"Little, Small, Wee Bear"'s "Little, Small, Wee..."
chair
- YEAH.

She [STRIKES !] the slats of the seat, like strings,
and flung, unstrung (if not un.sung.), from the
pile of purple pots, the .fire-coloured..cutlery
spins as spoons then turns to .tunes.,
magically, .musically., Terpsichoreanly
disposed to be transposed and transformed.

Notes 2
Notes as "d"s
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The porridge-pilfering pugilist packs a punch,
(if not her lunch) and, ( .semi-.) .crotchet.ily,
thumps the stumps of former spoons
(")to .tea.s(e) (and a .coffee., please)(")
from dese "d"s that could be "d"s...

Notes as bs
Notes as "b"s (if nor B.S.)

....three. "b"s...

Her great discomfiture
Her great discomfiture

...as "freebies" from "free" bears.

Was that the temp'rature
Was that the temp'rature
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If General Patton had a baton it would be
this thermometer conveyin' 'n' conductin'
(before being <sucked in>) the .tempo. and
the "temp'rature. .Sometimes. the
".hot.test"/".cool.est" .music.'s...

Of ev'ry serving was
Of ev'ry serving was

....made. from the bluest notes...

Unnerving to endure
Unnerving to endure

...and may be a little, small, wee bit hard to
swallow, unless you are as hardened as our
favourite <fork>ed-tongued <spoon>-spinner

criminally crunching her way to a <mouthful of
Mercury
.> (Any one who cracks a crass .joke.
about the lead .singer. of "Queen", at this juncture,
risks being sent to see "a senior member of staff,".

~ A FATE WORSE THAN COVENS OR COVENTRY ~

NB Freddie Mercury was NOT in
(or [BANNED !] from) the .band. "Poison".).

And as she cursed and swore
And as she cursed and swore
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A lip-.reader. might, in truth, be a tooth-.reader..
Lip
pily, Madam bites .........her bottom....lip
with muchos Ffffffffforce and Fffffffffortitude,
gracious, vivacious and "effin'" efficacious wiv
<The F-Word>.

And as she cursed and swore 2
And as she cursed and swore 2
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From profanity (pro-fanny .tea. ?) to inanity.
Having stuck her neck out breaking into the
.three. bears' tree-house cabin, the "wicked
old woman
" now sticks her tongue out - a
wordless insult/form of rejection theorised to
have its origins in babies repulsing the
breast
once satiated.

Peckish past this point
Peckish past this point
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Hoping, themselves, to be satiated soon,
the ursine pass a sign.

Hunger as "Peckish"ness MANifests itself as
the face of Gregory Peck - carved on the club
(not the cub) of the Great, Huge Gregory
Peck
-Faced Club-Carrying "Great, Huge
Bear".

Awarded to their joyful joint
Awarded to their joyful joint
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"Awarded to their joyful joint". This is
not a re(e)ference to pot, although the
bears ARE heading home for "pots"...

Had suffered a rampage
Had suffered a rampage

...and a SHOCK !!!!

The shock of an aftershock and a house that
has taken a trip even if they haven'...

...and is it a heavenly haven any more ?

Hooligans could not upstage
Hooligans could not upstage ?
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Paws .PAUSE. to get to grips (that's .2. grips)
(not Super Poligrip(s)) with trips.

Of detection it is said
Of detection, it is said
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This is my favourite .sequence. from
"Knowledge of Porridge", a pine cone
is revealed and magnified as the seed in :
"Inspection is the seed Of detection,"...

A-climbing up the stairs
A-climbing up the stairs

...and this is the nadir, it's bad 'ere, ya hear, m'dear ?!

To try to silence
To try to silence
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Will this harridan harass and make it "curtains"
(for certain) for the ("Great, Huge") hairy .hollerer.
- or will 'e follow 'er, collar 'er ' 'n' swallow 'er ?

To try to silence 2
To try to silence violence 2
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"Er" indeed....and <'er indoor>s....an' 'im indoors
'n' all ; with jaws 'n' claws 'n' cause to [MAUL !].

SHE raises a "finger of complaint" to point
out abberation (and commit .one.), [POKING !] and
[POPPING !] a pupil .painfully. NOT playful(or fair)ly.

Squeaking
Squeaking
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Her ~ lips are sealed ~ .

[DON'T BE RUDE !] I thought THAT too.

.Yesterday. (.18th Septic Member 2009., yes these
."NEAT NOTES". (.composed. at WordPress.com
before I jumped clear : back here) are
(.years.)afterthoughts), I saw a van .sign-written.
for the company : "T. Watts".

(For James Watt, [LOOK !] [HERE].)

Squeaking, Speaking
Squeaking, speaking of
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Oh DOOOOOOOO pipe down !
My preferred pre-furred individual .image..
[Captain Caption] = "Palming Off Ste(a)rn Bears".

Kind o' corny....we'll be "playing FTSE" next...

(To "Play FTSE", please visit :
"The $ub-Rhym€ ("Mark" It !)"

A Little, Small, Wee Bear
A Little, Small, Wee Bear

...or putting our taddy ickle footsies where
they done shouldn't be !
As merely : "A Little,
Small, Wee Bear
", this diminutive chap can
only BE <.four. feet, on the table> if he HAS
< .four. feet on the table>.

A Little Small, Wee Bear
A Little Small Wee Bear
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Can we emphasise enough how TEENY WEENY....
..... ooops ! How --->

<TEENY WEENY>

he is ?

Was sad to find his chair
Who's sad to find his chair
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The value of "Little Small, Wee Bear"'s chairs
has plummeted like that of the stern Bear Stearns
shares he was playing FTSE footsie with.

He's like
a ~ .fish. out of .water. ~
or a Koala in Guatemala.

Now what will he leave his heirs
and
(dis)(gruntled) graces ?

of porridge !
Of porridge !
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"Knowledge of Porridge !" perhaps. Let's hope
it is knowledge of its "ace return" and not of
its loss. It is indicated in this final .image. as
abundant, .sweetened., milky oats in the
bi-partite dome of a
brain.

---------------------------------------------------

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PRODUCTION PERIOD MAIN MEMORIES :
German Match Fixing, Death of Pope,
Marriage of Charles and Camilla,
Abandonment of Warehouse,
Peculiar Emergence of Cousin.

~

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CONTENTS
Quick Contents

Quick Contents - Button Linking the Low Graphics Streamlined Version of my Contents Page

SITE INDEX
SITE SEARCH
SITE NAVIGATION

MIXED DATES :
Fast Films

Fast Films - Original Films, Poems, Songs, Greetings, Animations and Jokes Organised into Playlists for Easy Viewing

CONSOLIDATED CLIPS
PADDINGLESS PLAYLISTS

Random
Remarks


Random Remarks - Bloggifications - Commentary - Observations

BLOGGIFICATIONS
COMMENTARY
OBSERVATIONS

Status, Stasis &
Statistical Spoddery


Status, Stasis & Statistical Spoddery - Click for Dynamic Tweets, Book and Music Charts

BOOK & MUSIC CHARTS
TOP TOME TOPICS
TWITTER WITTERINGS
WORDS WORDS WORDS

Lookie-Likies

Lookie-Likies - Click for Lookalikes

DOPPELGÄNGERS
FAMOUS FACES
F(R)AME-LESS FACES
LOOKALIKES
MORPHS
PEOPLE
PORTRAITS
POSERS & POSEURS

Half-cut Offcuts & Software Screencasts

Half-cut Offcuts & Software Screencasts - Click for Tasters of and Diversions from Various Creativity Software Packages

EXPERIMENTS
LEARNING
SCREENCASTS
SILLY OLD THINGS
SOFTWARE DEMOS
WORKS IN PROGRESS

Original Unoriginals
Original Unoriginals - Click for My Re-Readings and Re-Presentations of Famous and Lesser Known Poems and Stories Written by OTHER People (Whatever THEY are)
ORIGINAL READINGS
UNORIGINAL POEMS
UNORIGINAL STORIES
24 SEP 2009 :
Reactionary
Rant and
Screencasts
about
PhotoDraw


Microsoft PhotoDraw 2000 V2 Triple CD Case Image - There's an Elegant Elephant

PROTEST POST
IMAGE EDITING
SCREENCASTS

14 AUG 2009 :
Kit Cat Kid's
Cause "fur"
(Non-Compliant) Complaint


Thumbnail Portrait Paw Trait of Kit Cat Kid - Splashable Star of Original Rhyming Children's Poem Kit Cat Kid's Cause "fur" (Non-Compliant) Complaint - a comic verse about bath-time defiance

CHILDREN'S POEM
ANIMAL ANIMATION
CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
FACIAL ANIMATION
ORIGINAL POEM
SUBTITLED
TITLING (PREMIERE PRO)
VOICE ACTING

05 JUN 2009 :
William Blake's
"Lamb-like
Wail"


Thumbnail of a Gripped Eyeball - A still from my multimedia version of William Blake's The Tyger - William Blake's Lamb-like Wail. Part 3 of a series of Poetic Post Cards

POETIC POST CARD
ANIMAL ANIMATION
CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
CUTOUT ANIMATION
FACIAL ANIMATION
SUBTITLED
TITLING (PREMIERE PRO)
VOICE ACTING
VOICE PROCESSING
1 OF MY FAVOURITES

30 NOV 2008 :
Emma Lazarus's
"The New
Colossus"


Thumbnail Still of the Statue of Liberty's Golden Mask - Click and you will witness it speaking the words of Emma Lazarus's poem "The New Colossus" in its native French Accent. Part 2 of a Series of Poetic Post Cards

POETIC POST CARD
CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
FACIAL ANIMATION
SUBTITLED
TITLING (PREMIERE PRO)
VOICE ACTING

10 AUG 2008 :
W.H. Auden's
"O where are
you going ?"


Thumbnail still from the Poetic Post Card - O where are you going - an animated greeting version of Wystan Hugh Auden's poem read aloud in a Welsh accent with further discussion of influence and origin

POETIC POST CARD
CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
FACIAL ANIMATION
SUBTITLED
TITLING (PREMIERE PRO)
VOICE ACTING

04 MAY 2008:
The Tropic of Capricorn (Chips)

Thumbnail still of some sailing boats with Doritos for sails. They were made for a competition using Reallusion's iclone animation software - and illustrate part of a comic rhyming song I wrote to fit some prescribed music

COMPETITION ENTRY
AUDIO-EDITING
BRIEF FOR A BRIEF
ICLONE ANIMATION
ORIGINAL LYRICS
SONG & DANCE
SUBTITLED
TITLING (PREMIERE PRO)
VOICE ACTING

07 FEB 2008 :
The
Confessions
and
Expressions
of St.Augustine


Thumbnail of a still from a comic animated greeting I made which takes part of St. Augustine's Confessions and has them sung by medieval characters painted by Benozzo Gozzoli

PANTING PAINTING
CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
FACIAL ANIMATION
MULTIPLE CHARACTERS
VOICE PROCESSING
SUBTITLED
TITLING (PREMIERE PRO)

18 JAN 2008 :
Black and White
at The White House


Thumbnail still from my morphing animation of all the Presidents of the United States of America

MORPHING MORPHINE
FACIAL ANIMATION
FANTAMORPH 1st GO
HISTORICAL HEADS

08 JAN 2008 :
((He(e) Be(e))
G.B. P.M.
Gordon Brown
Performs/
Transforms
"London Town"


Thumbnail still of former British Prime Minister Gordon Brown singing a Karaoke Version of Hubert Gregg's classic song "London Town" whilst on the London Lazy Och Eye the New Noo

SURPRISING SINGING
AUDIO EDITING
CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
FACIAL ANIMATION
SUBTITLED
TITLING (PREMIERE PRO)

01 DEC 2007 :
The $ub-Rhym€ ("Mark" It !)

Thumbnail still from my competition entry comic poem about the sub-prime market financial crisis

COMPETITION ENTRY
BRIEF FOR A BRIEF
CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
CUTOUT ANIMATION
FACIAL ANIMATION
ICLONE SPECIAL EFFECTS
ORIGINAL TOPICAL POEM
SUBTITLED
TITLING (BLUFFTITLER)
VOICE ACTING
VOICE PROCESSING

17 SEP 2007 :
Unguessed
Ghost Guest


Thumbnail still of a funerary cupid that speaks the words of Branwell Bronte's character Alexander Percy as he describes an angelic vision to his mother

STEREO MONOLOGUE
CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
FACIAL ANIMATION
SUBTITLED
TITLING (PREMIERE PRO)
VOICE ACTING

12 JUN 2007 :
These Boots
Were Made
With CloneCloth


Thumbnail still from a film illustrating my attempts to create a pair of virtual Wellington Boots using Reallusion software's first CloneCloth release

CLOTHES DESIGN
CUSTOM CONTENT
SOFTWARE DEMO

17 MAR 2007 :
SAINTS ALIVE !
((Congregation
(Bowl)ed (Over)
Fisher of Men's
St.Patrick's
Day/Birthday
BOLD
FISHERMAN
Boogie


Thumbnail still of a virtual Patrick Bronte singing and dancing The Bold Fisherman in St.Michaels - that's the Church not the Department Store - although I've not checked the label for libel - or a Bible

iCLONE MUSIC VIDEO
CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
FACIAL ANIMATION
3D FULL BODY ANIMATION
SONG & DANCE
SUBTITLED
TITLING (PREMIERE PRO)

02 MAR 2007 :
iClone
Motion Editor -
Custom
Animation
Example


Thumbnail still from a sequence showing a custom choreography animation playing in Reallusion software's iClone Motion Editor

SOFTWARE DEMO
3D FULL BODY ANIMATION

18 OCT 2006 :
Lord Above,
Sweet
Immanuel
(or What the
Hell was THAT ?)


Thumbnail still from my original animation of some original hymnal song lyrics I wrote

COMPETITION ENTRY
CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
CUTOUT ANIMATION
FACIAL ANIMATION
2D FULL BODY ANIMATION
ICLONE SPECIAL EFFECTS
ORIGINAL LYRICS
SONG & DANCE
SUBTITLED
TITLING (PHOTODRAW)
VOICE ACTING
VOICE PROCESSING

12 AUG 2006 :
Psocker
SychoAnalysis
- The Jung
Juans'
Fraudian "Slip"
on the Skip


Thumbnail still of a virtual Jimmy Greaves playing Carl Jung with Father Christmas as Sigmund Freud in my original song with comic rhyming lyrics about soccer and psychoanalysis

JUST FOR FUN
ONLY MY FAVOURITE
CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
FACIAL ANIMATION
3D FULL BODY ANIMATION
ICLONE MUSIC VIDEO
SONG & DANCE
SUBTITLED
VOICE ACTING
VOICE PROCESSING

07 JUN 2006 :
The
Ratcatcher's
Daughter


Thumbnail still of Mr. Kitten Caboodle the virtual cat verminator star of the iClone animated song and dance Victorian parliament tree tease The Ratcatcher's Daughter

VICTORIAN VERMINATOR
ANIMAL ANIMATION
CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
FACIAL ANIMATION
3D FULL BODY ANIMATION
iCLONE MUSIC VIDEO
SONG AND DANCE
VOICE ACTING

23 APR 2006 :
Toil in Soil

Thumbnail still of a Singing Gnome frrom an animated greeting created with Reallusion's Crazy Talk Software. His delivery is of original rhyming lyrics.

GARDEN GUARDIAN
CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
FACIAL ANIMATION
ORIGINAL LYRICS
SUBTITLED
VOICE ACTING
VOICE PROCESSING

18 FEB 2006 :
Animal Rites

Thumbnail still of a virtual Ancient Greek girl relating a monologue about vegetarianism, barbecues and the Eleusian Mysteries religious cult

CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
FACIAL ANIMATION
ORIGINAL POEM
SUBTITLED
VOICE ACTING

21 JAN 2006 :
Tuned-Up
TURNIP
Turned Up

Thumbnail portrait of a virtual scarecrow in a field of rape. He looks like Vincent Van Gogh amomg his sunflowers but that is not who he is. He is singing original rhyming lyrics to a well-known tune and dancing with a custom choreography create by hand in Reallusion iClone Motion Editor

CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
FACIAL ANIMATION
3D FULL BODY ANIMATION
ORIGINAL LYRICS
SONG & DANCE
SUBTITLED
VOICE ACTING
VOICE PROCESSING

05 NOV 2005 :
EWE Who
"Yoo Hoo !"
a Good
(Hidin') Heidi


Thumbnail portrait of a little lamb who is a who who is a singing sheep singing original rhymng lyrics in a greeting set to a familiar tune

ANIMAL ANIMATION
CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
FACIAL ANIMATION
ORIGINAL LYRICS
SUBTITLED
VOICE ACTING
VOICE PROCESSING

13 JUN 2005 :
Knowledge
of Porridge


Thumbnail still of the little old woman and a bear taken from my Flash MX animated re-working of poet laureate Robert Southey's story of The Three Bears. It predates Goldilocks. The film features HIS version of the plot re-worked by me with brand new original rhyming lyrics to a musical theatre tune.

CUTOUT ANIMATION
FLASH MX ANIMATION
ORIGINAL LYRICS
SUBTITLED
TITLING (SWiSHMAX)
VOICE ACTING
VOICE PROCESSING

24 AUG 2004 :
Quem Pastores

Thumbnail portrait of a woman who may be Elizabeth Branwell the sister-in-law of Patrick Bronte. Here she is singing my original rhyming hymn lyrics set to the "tune" of the German carol Quem Pastores

CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
FACIAL ANIMATION
ORIGINAL LYRICS
SUBTITLED
TITLING (PREMIERE PRO)
VOICE ACTING

12 JUL 2004 :
Mundane
Mo(u)rning
with the
Dhoop Dope


Thumbnail still from my original rhyming comic anti-poetry poem about hating school - Mundane Mo(u)rning with the Dope Dhoop

CUTOUT ANIMATION
FLASH MX ANIMATION
ORIGINAL POEM
VOICE ACTING

12 JAN 2004 :
Aisle Evil -
((Pep-) Talk
Like a Pirate)


Thumbnail portrait of the piratical gruff old man singer of Aisle Evil - ((Pep))Talk Like a Pirate. The song is set to a familiar instrumental and features original rhyming lyrics

CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
FACIAL ANIMATION
ORIGINAL LYRICS
SUBTITLED
TITLING (PREMIERE PRO)
VOICE ACTING

05 JAN 2004 :
Bitter Man's
Vitamins


Thumbnail sitll of Ross the Sloth the virtual animated speaker of my original rhyming poem about health and fitness. The rhyme is called "Bitter Man's Vitamins"

CRAZY TALK LIP SYNC
FACIAL ANIMATION
ORIGINAL POEM
SUBTITLED
TITLING (PREMIERE PRO)
VOICE ACTING
VOICE PROCESSING

10 DEC 2003 :
Day Of(f) Wra(i)th - Mozart with the Mo(i)st (')art

Thumbnail still from Day of(f) Wra(i)th - Mozart with the Mo(i)st ('art) - It is a Flash MX animated version of the Dies Irae from the Requiem Mass. All the Latin lyrics have been replaced with English soundalikes. I was ABLE to hear them and relay the result.

CUTOUT ANIMATION
FLASH MX ANIMATION
MISHEARD LYRICS
SUBTITLED
TITLING (SWiSHMAX)

06 NOV 2003 :
Flash(in') in
the Pan-Indian Sub(in)continent


Thumbnail still from my Flash MX animation of a cheeky comic song about physical flexbility. It features original rhyming lyrics set to a well-known tune

CUTOUT ANIMATION
FLASH MX ANIMATION
ORIGINAL LYRICS
SUBTITLED
TITLING (SWiSHMAX)
VOICE PROCESSING

04 MAY 1999:
Prayer the Brontës' Father
Taught Us'


Thumbnail still of a JOINT parody of the Lord's Prayer and a sewing sampler made by Anne Bronte when t'lass worrr proporrrr titchy

GRAPHICS EDITING
ICLONE ANIMATION
ORIGINAL PARODY
VOICE ACTING
VOICE PROCESSING

 

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